Hicham El Ouahabi | Can we stop calling everyone a narcissist?
These days it seems that everyone is dealing with a narcissist. At least, so it seems, writes Hicham El Ouahabi. “The question is no longer whether you are, become or encounter one, but when – it could happen at any time.”
Narcissists. Everyone has one in their life these days, it seems. Or two, or three. Everywhere you go, the label ‘narcissist’ flies around your ears. The mother with her outspoken opinions? A narcissist. The ex with whom things didn’t work out? Of course, a narcissist. The fatbiker who almost mowed you off the road? Definitely a narcissist. The colleague who always cancelled meetings at the last minute? Yes, narcissist. And the cat who meows just a little too long for his breakfast every morning? You guessed it: also a narcissist.
For a while now, I have noticed that social media is full of influencers and self-appointed life coaches telling you how to recognise, unmask and banish narcissists from your life. Oh well, just ended up in the algorithmic drain, I still thought. But no, alas. Even in bookstores, you are inundated with titles like Living with a Narcissist, Recognise the Narcissist in Your Life, and Escape from the Grip of the Narcissist. As if that were not enough, at house parties and in groups of friends, people who have had to deal with narcissists are also increasingly talking about them. In short, the question is no longer whether you are, become or encounter one, but when – it could happen at any time.
What does this actually mean? Are we really surrounded by an army of narcissists who suddenly seem to be sprouting like mushrooms? That seems a strong possibility. If so, the psychiatrists themselves would be dropping by the bushes by now with all the diagnoses. In my opinion, it is not that complicated. The word ‘narcissist’ has become a buzzword, used to quickly and forcefully dismiss people we perceive as annoying. The term is now so eroded and abused that it is in danger of losing its meaning. And who are we helping by doing so? No one.
So what now? How do we get rid of this trend? Maybe it’s just time we called each other jerk and asshole a bit more often. But I fear that is no longer enough for us. These days, it has to be more dramatic, more intense, and preferably with a psychiatric label. Asshole and jerk now sound almost too innocent. Finally, it's about people's experiences, not the facts.
I can already hear Prime Minister Schoof saying it when announcing a national narcissist crisis.
