“Similarity in appearance is the norm when choosing sperm donor in hospital”
Roos Metselaar (25) won the UvA thesis prize last week for her thesis on how sperm donors are matched with wish parents in Dutch clinics. “If the sperm donor has a different racial category than the wish-parent, it is by definition not a match for the hospital.’
Picking a sperm donor based on his favourite colour and movie? When UvA anthropology student Roos Metselaar (25) saw what was possible for prospective parents at the European Sperm Bank, her interest was piqued immediately. Origin, height, hair colour; she saw it all at these commercial sperm banks. One question in particular stuck in her mind: how does this work in a Dutch clinic, where lab staff are involved in choosing a donor? What guidelines do they follow? To find out, she watched a Dutch clinic for a few months. She processed her findings in a master’s thesis, for which she won the UvA thesis prize last week.
Tell me, how does that work in Dutch clinics?
“On the basis of outward similarity. Specifically, they are not looking for someone who looks exactly like the wishing parent - they also know that this is not possible - but there are certain characteristics that can make a donor too different. If the donor has a different skin colour and hair texture, for example, this is seen as problematic. This is also why racial categories are used in the hospital; if they do not match between wish-parent and sperm donor, by definition there is no match for them. Other differences in external characteristics, such as someone taller than the wish parent, are seen as acceptable, though.”
Which wish-parent is this compared to exactly?
“To the parent who is not going to get pregnant. In the case of a heterosexual couple, it then refers to the man. In the case of a lesbian couple, it’s about the woman who is not going to get pregnant. In the case of a single woman, it’s about the woman herself.”
Why is it important for lab workers that the sperm donor resembles one of these wishing parents in appearance?
“In my thesis, I argue that the point is that this way it remains as invisible as possible that a sperm donor has been involved. Even in a lesbian couple, where everyone knows there has been a donor, this principle is used. The reason is that they think the child is less likely to experience adverse effects if he or she resembles his or her parents. The idea is that the child is then less likely to think: I don’t fit here, I don't belong here. In short, these are attempts to limit later mental damage in the child.”
Is that based on scientific research?
“Those arguments are based on literature on adoption. Not surprisingly, of course, because there is a lot of knowledge there about children who cannot fully identify with their parents and then suffer from that and want to look for their genetic connection. But at the same time, I think there are quite important differences between adoption and sperm donation. In international adoption, a child born in another country is moved here. That is a very big event in the first stage of life. In sperm donation, the child is with people from birth who will raise him.”
What do you think of this emphasis on equality in appearance?
“I can't judge whether it actually benefits children. But what I do find striking is that this directive dates back to the days when hospitals were still advising to keep sperm donation secret. Back then, it mostly concerned men who were infertile. Later it turned out that those children often realised there was a secret, something that actually bothered them the most, mentally. So now hospital staff always say: never make it a secret. Tell it right away when the child can't even talk yet, so that it becomes a normal part of life.”
In all this openness, you would think that equality in appearance is also no longer as important as before. After all, there is no longer a need to put up a facade.
“You would think so, yes. But the policy is still exactly the same as when the advice was given not to tell especially. It has never changed.”
Interesting matter to build on, are you going to do any follow-up research on this?
“No, not actually. I am going to do research in Wageningen on PFAS contamination. Also very interesting, but totally different haha.”
